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Love Me For who i am

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Suzanna Wong

XtC.NyX|xGongZu-

07 May

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October 2005
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April 2011
May 2011
November 2011



Saturday, November 19, 2011
Lost

I assured myself that i would never be back playing dota again since my decision to quit was very firm! Never thought i would be back playing, i'm still finding the passion i had for dota which seems to disappear ever since then. Somehow i'm still searching for a reason/ feel to play on..

I really hate being a burden srsly maybe its time to put in more effort..

ahhh..

Hopefully i don't burden them so stressful right now "(

Good Luck tml <3

With ♥ From Suzanna [12:14 AM]




Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Kept me thinking..

Everything seems a lil happy for me right now expect Dota..

It kept me thinking if i should put in some effort to train up & play properly. Somehow i seems to lost the motivation to play on, it seems that even playing for fun doesn't suit the category of friends i'm playing with.. The joy of playing seems to vanish..

I should probably just stop playing, play so xinku & burden others for what lol yet Dota is still something i enjoy & its best to pass time..

Tired of whiner
Tired of being a noob..

ahh damn burden now..

Why can't things be a lil simple..

Couldn't stand it how some people can slowly becoming a snob..
Sometimes it kept me thinking between r/s & dota only one survival..

Nothing seems to makes me happy now.. Sleep

With ♥ From Suzanna [2:58 AM]




Monday, April 25, 2011
Blank

I can longer be truthfully to myself..
Trying to forget all those unhappiness every time an argument starts yet i fail to do so..
Trying hard to appear happy at the same time being forgetful..
Hoping everything will go away..
I don't know..
I'm tired..
I wanne cry..

You will probably just ignore..

When all i left to say is that its slowly showing..



With ♥ From Suzanna [1:12 AM]




Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Dead blog back !

YEAH MY DEAD BLOG IS BACK !

It's been so long since i wanted to reorganize my life, have been slacking way too much..
It's time to change..

Back then i chose to run away from problems when it arise, i didn't have the courage to climb up from where i fall maybe the fall was just too painful.
I might have taken a very long period of time to finally face the fact and deal with the problem..

Being less ji jiao in life makes u a happier person :D

Job interview tml so looking forward to it somehow..
Hope everything turns out good..

With ♥ From Suzanna [12:36 AM]




Saturday, November 06, 2010
6th November is the title !

Decided to head down to C.A.S to watch XTC games and Hengky was nice enough to fetch me & Alan over.. I only watched 1/2 of the game & went off to dota with os, nagi, & lostforce..


Playing with them simply brings lots of laughter despite being tired!
Lesson learnt: Never let Os draft but nvm he still owe us 2meals each...



Had Frog porridge for supper with loy & Hengky..
Mei you chao la bu hao chi & its quite sad i'm eating only plain porridge cause he don't wanne let me order my veg.. Must blame !!




Didn't sleep cause i got addicted to zombie vs plant.. Super fun la but i need the full version *Desp*
cb lor few hours ago i was laughing at Os for playing this stupid game end up i'm addicted.. Bwg!!


Need to travel down to Sim Lim for his speakers & food fair later on for my CRAVING!!
Wee~ Food nve fails to make 1 happy..



A little something for that special someone who might nve know. . .

You are 1 out of a million
Because you are amazing
Just the way you are
Cause your smile
Makes my world stops & stare for awhile
Wishing that this moment would last forever

Will this forever come true? ~

With ♥ From Suzanna [8:16 AM]




Friday, November 05, 2010
Quit Quit Quit !!

I lost my interest in blogging sometimes i felt like i'm blogging for the sake of it..
At the same time there are some stuff not appropriate to blog about neither did i wanne talk about it unless i felt like it.. lol !



After so much had happen i felt its best to keep everything to myself, time to /mute everyone. Maybe i lost faith maybe it just happen too often over & over again..
My quietness is back like how I am few months back maybe i didn't really wanne talk much to anyone but i will reply if u pm haha.. That's already slightly better then few months ago..



I still had passion for dota but its time i wanne stop playing competitive..
It's for real this time.. lol

Playing for fun still the best whereas there's no stress & responsibility..
I'm just too noob ".)


Need some dota kakis to pei wo dota !!
Back to my world..



I still misses you ~
Bye~


With ♥ From Suzanna [12:36 AM]




Monday, October 11, 2010
Weekend





Saturday -

Went down to Colo to play a few warm up games with the girls before heading down to Cineleisure for dotasg compy athough we didn't win but it was not bad since we didn't even train much Lol.. I did a terrible mistake, i hope no 1 saw =x LOL!!

Went down to CAS to watch XtC ADC games but bth jitao felt asleep through out the games cause i didn't sleep the previous day T_T tired ttm!

His sweet enough to bring me for supper before heading home.. ^^

Sunday-

Overslept & missed their game against 444 but glad that they won them..
They gotten 2nd for the compy.. Continue to jia you ba xtC !!

We spent like $10 trying to kiap this small toy, end up he kiap bu dao the person gave it to us lol.. SERIOUSLY HENGKY U SUCKS!!


After everything all of us went over to the Hong Kong Cafe for dinner, ordered chicken chop which was really good but the portion of the fries is ownage lol.. Most of them left and Hengky, Lux, Loy & me so ended up we chat for hours about Dota!! haha~
Later on he send me home.. Thanks ^^

I'm gonna cut my hair like FINALLY!! with that noob, hopefully i have enough for me to touch up my colours..

Going off to Thailand in 2days times.. wee~





With ♥ From Suzanna [4:45 AM]




Friday, October 08, 2010
Tired of all the nonsense

Gonna blog about something that have been on my mind all this while..

If there's a chance to start all over i guess i wouldn't want a friend like you perhaps there are just too much stuff that happens, too much disappointed i see in you.. It always seems like there are so many different characters when you are with different people.. Which is the real you?

There are some people no matter how long or how close you guys might be whenever it involves love things changes. I have to admit I used to be like that but seriously it just pissed me off big time, if something ever goes wrong don't turn back & ask me to be there for u.. fk off~

Ever since that period i given up everything on dota, thinking that maybe quitting is the best yet i came back playing after months later to realise certain things when its lost, it will never recover no matter how much effort you put in.. I'm tired of trying all by myself, its always being me putting in effort yet achieve nothing.. Maybe its time to really quit & play for leisure since its not gonna work..

Maybe I'm fated to be a loser..

Tired of explaining whom i'm blogging about, just don't ask will be appreciate..

With ♥ From Suzanna [4:02 AM]




Thursday, October 07, 2010
GOODBYE EMO WELCOME HAPPY!!

GOODBYE EMO WELCOME HAPPY!!

YES!! u didn't read wrongly neither did you click the wrong blog ^^
The only time i would be emo would only be cause of game.. haha

IT'S BEEN 3MONTHS & I'M FINALLY BACK !! hehe ^^

So much had happen during the past few months, i nearly couldn't pick myself up it felt as if its the end of the world.. Kua Zhang but true oki3 lol..
At that point of time no1 can understands how i felt even i don't know how to help myself.. Regrets on my stubbornness that the price to pay is just too big.. I lost alot & a close friend.. T_T
Back then if i have the chance to choose again, i would never walk this path again cause u don't worth it =)

I have learn alot during this period of time & somehow certain things have change my view & character anyway i wanne thank those who had been by my side, u know who u are!!
XIE XIE NI MEN.. Thanks for listening to me WHINE almost every single night.. Love u all !

I wanted to apologise to this really close friend of mine, I'm sorry that i know u tried to help me but yet i couldn't control my emotion well enough, everything u had done for me will always be appreciated & never forgotten.. xie xie ni ~
[Anw i hope he knows I'm talking about him & forgive me]

There are just too many typical guys that likes to por especially that someone that pissed me off with stupid excuses its just plain POR not much is needed to explain.. Even though i know you are like that but i didn't know you are 1 of the worst lol.. Just fk off seriously..

I'm rather emotional playing with the peeps that i didn't like, not all but just 1.. I'll rather play myself even though i hates it but at least i'm happier..

Will update again about some old post which i would like to update long ago..
1 of this days i need to change my blog skin !!

With ♥ From Suzanna [3:36 AM]




Monday, July 05, 2010
Arghhh



July 3 [Saturday]




Woke up rather early that day & i thought i was late so cab down to realise i wasn't even close to late.. Arghh waste my $ cab down..

CGF & lost to Eterry's team
Went out with Hengky to watch "Ip Man the legend is born", somehow i still prefers the other Ip Man show.. Xiao Long Bao before movies.. =)

He sent me home and we had supper after that.. Thanks..

Thanks Cloud for the bear bear ^^

Slept the whole day yesterday as i wasn't feeling well due to my leg -.- sucks!!
Have to stay home for the rest of the days.. Arghhh i wanne go out TT

To make things worst my spec spoils, somehow my eyes hurts whenever i put on my lens & when i walk i can only limp..
My life sucks =\

I know its time i should let go yet I'm still holding on for whatever reasons that only my heart can explain, it hurts a lot yet i didn't wanne let go.. What should i do? for the reality speaks otherwise.. I can only hope for a miracle..
If i ever hurt any of you, i just wanne say I'm sorry..


Hmm.. somehow i wanted to say that i still cherish this friendship between us no matter what had happen..


A lil dream which is my only motivation to carry on what i love..
I can only hope for the best.. ^^

With ♥ From Suzanna [10:26 PM]